Embracing Myself: Navigating the Drag Kingdom with Neurodiversity
In the intense world of drag, where self-expression holds significant importance, the spotlight often shines on the glamorous performers bedecked in sequins and feathers. However, amidst the dazzle and glitter, there exists a diverse community of drag performers that are defying stereotypes and carving out their own space on stage. For those of us who identify as drag kings and also navigate the complexities of neurodiversity, the journey is one of resilience, self-discovery, and empowerment.
As a drag king living with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), my path to the stage has been anything but conventional. Yet, with each step, I've found solace, strength, and a sense of belonging within the drag community.
Living with neurodiversity in the world of drag is like performing a high-energy lip sync while simultaneously trying to keep track of a thousand thoughts racing through your mind – challenging, exhilarating, and occasionally, downright hilarious. The other day I accidentally wore eyelash glue as eyeliner and glued my lids together.
Neurodiversity does bring its own set of challenges. ADHD can make it difficult to focus, especially when performance planning, MDD can dampen my spirits on performance nights and especially the next day, GAD can heighten my anxiety in social settings and cause me to panic and leave quickly after a show, and PTSD can trigger intense emotions at unexpected moments and react out of proportion or misinterpret actions of others. But through drag, I've learned to embrace these facets of myself as part of what makes me uniquely me.
Drag has become my sanctuary, a realm where I can channel my inner struggles into artistry, and my vulnerabilities into strength. When I step into my drag persona, I shed the constraints of societal expectations and embrace the freedom to express myself authentically. Whether I'm donning a sharp suit, gluing up my hair, or experimenting with makeup to create a more masculine illusion, I feel a profound sense of empowerment that transcends the limitations of my neurodiversity.
Moreover, the drag community has been a source of unwavering support and understanding. From fellow performers offering words of encouragement backstage to audiences cheering me on from the crowd, I've found acceptance and camaraderie in spaces where diversity is celebrated and differences are embraced.
That being said, there are still moments when the weight of my neurodiversity feels overwhelming. There are nights when my anxiety threatens to consume me, or when my depression casts a shadow over my performances. In those moments, I remind myself that it's okay to ask for help, to take breaks when needed, and to prioritize self-care above all else.
MDD can turn even the most glamorous of performances into a dramatic ballad worthy of its own tear-jerking music video. But hey, a little mood lighting never hurt anyone, right? Besides, nothing says "emotional depth" like performing an intense rendition of "Du Hast" with a single spotlight illuminating your perfectly contoured cheekbones.
Of course, there's also GAD, the ever-present voice in the back of my mind whispering worst-case scenarios as I strut my stuff on stage. Will I trip and fall flat on my face? Will I rip my pants if I try to squat for theatric expression? Will I be able to stand back up if I drop to my knees? Will I forget the lyrics or start lip syncing too soon (again)? The possibilities are endless, and so is the adrenaline rush.
And then there's PTSD, the unexpected guest at every performance, lurking in the shadows and occasionally popping up to remind me of the trauma that I try to suppress, the panic as I see faces in the crowd that aren’t there. The paranoia that tells me that even my queer spaces aren’t safe.
Despite the challenges, being a drag king navigating neurodiversity is an adventure like no other. It's a journey filled with laughter, tears, and plenty of flare – because let's face it, no performance is complete without a little glitz and glam.
Through therapy, medication, and the support of loved ones, I've learned to navigate the intersection of drag and neurodiversity. Each time I step onto the stage, I am not just a drag king – I am a resilient artist, defying the odds and reclaiming my narrative in a world that often tries to silence me, and take away my inherent rights.
To my fellow drag artists navigating neurodiversity, embrace yourself, wear your flare proudly, and never forget the power that lies within you. Your journey may be unconventional, but it is uniquely yours, and it is worthy of celebration, so keep shining, keep slaying, and never forget to laugh along the way. After all, life's too short to take drag – or ourselves – too seriously.
I’m hoping that we can come together and continue to shine brightly, unapologetically, and fiercely – neurodiversity and all. We can disintegrate the stigma placed on people seeking help for our mental health struggles. For it is in our differences that we find our greatest strength.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a performance to prepare for, hair to tame, and a thousand thoughts racing through my mind. But hey, that's just another day in the fabulous world of drag!
