Happy Mother’s Day!

My Mother became my Friend, and my Friend became my Mother…

Celebrating My Two Wonderful Mothers on Mother’s Day

On this special day, I want to share my thoughts and feelings about the two phenomenal ladies who have empowered me to become the fierce drag king I am today and continue to push me to new heights!

First, there's the amazing woman who gave birth to me and raised me - Sue. This woman is a powerhouse of love and support, and she’s a reason I strut through life with confidence. She taught me resilience, kindness, and how to serve up authenticity like no one else. Her wisdom and sass have been my secret weapons in this fabulous journey. Her love, guidance, and unwavering empowerment have been the foundation of everything I am.

Then, there's the diva who welcomed me into her drag family – Miss Flo NoMo’. She is the epitome of acceptance and self-expression. With her guidance, I’ve discovered a world of creativity and confidence that’s more dazzling than any disco ball. She’s the friend and drag mentor who encourages me to slay every performance and explore every inch of my drag king identity. Through her mentorship and care, she has opened up a world of creativity and confidence that had been suppressed for too long.

These two incredible ladies have been my rock, my cheerleaders, and my inspiration. I am forever grateful for their love and influence. I wouldn’t be the fierce king I am without them!

Let’s talk some more about how these two incredible women have empowered me to become the drag king I am today and how they continue to support me in my journey.

Who’s Sue?

So a little more about my mom, Sue. She's been rocking the cosmetics industry for as long as I can remember. There was this one time, when I was maybe in second grade, my dad was teaching me to lay tile in the entryway of our house. We decided that mom’s beautiful cherry red Lancôme lipstick would be perfect for drawing the tile’s rounded edge… she wasn’t exactly thrilled about that choice. She shared so much of her cosmetics knowledge with me throughout my life. She taught me a lot about application techniques and color choices… lessons that I incorporate now into my drag face.

Anyway, growing up in the 90s, homosexuality was still pretty taboo throughout society, but my mom, with her squad of fabulous gay work friends, made sure it was normalized for me from a young age. I was exposed to quite a bit of homophobia, because, well, it was the 90s. But Sue made it her mission to teach us that there’s nothing different or wrong with being gay. Her love, sass, and fierce support have always been instrumental in the shaping of my beliefs and values.

When it came time for me to come out of the closet as queer, I thought it would be a breeze. She didn’t take it well at first, but eventually she came around. It took some time, but her love and acceptance only grew stronger, and now she's one of my biggest cheerleaders. I was angry with her for reacting the way that she did, but I'm so glad I didn't cut her out of my life and was patient enough to explain myself. If I had cut her out of my life, then I would have missed out on this significant relationship that we have now as adults. Recently, we talked about it, and she admitted she was more hurt and confused because she thought she knew me well. Being in the closet meant that I was hiding a big part of myself and that was hurtful to my family. My coming out surprised her, and she didn’t want to believe that she didn't know this important part of me. I can understand that, and forgiveness feels a lot better than resentment. I am one of the lucky ones, she didn’t give up on me and I didn’t give up on her. In fact, once the turbulence settled, we became even closer because I didn’t have to hide anymore.

When I opened up to her about doing drag, she loaded me up with some cosmetics and helped me to get a jumpstart on turning my face into a fabulous king. She listens to me talk about shows and is excited for me, though I’m not sure how she feels about my name… meh. Anyway, I am so inexplicably grateful for her acceptance and support.

But what about Miss Flo NoMo’?

Let’s talk about the diva herself, Miss Flo NoMo’, who adopted me into her fabulous drag family. This queen is the ultimate embodiment of acceptance and self-expression. She swooped into my life with all the glitter and glam you can imagine while I was in the midst of a mental breakdown. She encouraged me during my in-patient stay and didn’t make me feel different or other for having a mental “disorder”. Then, when I came home, I wouldn’t stop talking about how I was going to be on stage someday, and I was going to be a drag king. She showed me how to embrace every bit of my fabulous self. With her guidance and advice, I’ve discovered a world of creativity and confidence that sparkles brighter than a disco ball.

I drove her up the wall with about eight different names before landing on Max Taute. Flo joked she’d start calling me Max E Pad, and the name stuck… it felt just right. Flo gave me my name (well half of it), but she didn’t stop there. She suggested I strut my stuff in drag king makeup around town to get a feel for my new persona. Then, without much warning, my second time out in drag, she asked if I was ready… Next thing I knew, we were jamming a thumb drive with music and speeding off to Iowa for an open stage. I was blindsided in the most perfect way, thrown headfirst into performing.

She won’t hold back if I am screwing up or look a hot mess, so I trust that I am going in the right direction. She also let’s me know when and what I am doing well, so I can keep doing it. By keeping that communication and trust, I don’t second guess myself as much, which she would find shocking because she points out that I am overthinking and “in my head” too much… it would be so much worse without the assurance that I gain from knowing that she will call me out if needed and gas me up if deserved.

Miss Flo NoMo’ has been my close personal friend, my mentor, and my guide. She’s the one who taught me to strut my stuff, own the spotlight, and never shy away from who I am. Her fierce encouragement and endless support have pushed me to explore every facet of my drag king identity, and I couldn't be more grateful.

Moreover, she is my most reliable friend. Her support has helped me through so much of life’s trails, and I hope that I can be at least half the friend to her that she is to me.

Someone told me once that to have a good friend you have to be a good friend. At that time, I wasn’t a very good friend to anyone, so I am really glad that through self-help and therapy, I was able to gain significant friendships and start finding more joy in life, because nobody could have pulled me out of that dark place if I wasn’t willing to make at least a little effort… but really… how did I get so lucky to have these incredible people in my life?

But it's not just about my two amazing mothers. Let's take a moment to appreciate all the wonderful people who play a maternal role in someone else's life. Whether you're a birth mom, a drag mom, an adoptive mom, or any kind of nurturing figure, your love, support, and guidance shape us in ways we can never fully express.

So, here’s a shoutout to my two fabulous mothers and all the amazing maternal figures out there who nurture and inspire their families. Your love is boundless, your support is fierce, and today, we celebrate you in all your glory.