Sexual Assault Awareness Month and How This Drag King Copes
Living with sexual assault-related Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) while navigating the glistening stage of drag is a delicate balancing act. In Drag world, there are moments when the spotlight can illuminate not just our talents and strengths, but also the shadows of our past. For some of us, myself included, performing as a drag king isn't just about transforming into a larger-than-life persona – it's about reclaiming our bodies, our voices, and our narratives in the aftermath of sexual assault and finding the courage to step into the spotlight despite the echoes of trauma that linger, ready to surface at the slightest provocation.
Sexual Assault Awareness Month is not just a time for statistics and slogans; it's a call to action, a roar against the deafening silence that shrouds survivors in shame and fear. April is a time dedicated to raising public awareness about sexual violence and advocating for the prevention and support of survivors. It's a crucial moment for communities worldwide to come together, to listen, to learn, and to take action. Sexual Assault Awareness Month beckons us to confront the harsh realities that persist in our communities. As a lesbian and drag king, I stand not only as a member of the LGBTQ+ family but also as an advocate for justice, healing, and love.
Coping with sexual assault-related PTSD while performing as a drag king, there's a profound struggle that often goes unseen – the battle to reclaim a sense of self-reliance, independence, and trust that was shattered. For me, the experience of sexual assault left scars that ran deeper than the surface bruises. It made me question my own strength, my ability to protect myself, and my capacity to navigate the world with the same fearless independence that once defined me. As someone who prided themselves on their self-reliance, the realization that I couldn't prevent or control what had happened shook me to the core.
Performing as a drag king has been a form of catharsis, a way to reclaim ownership of my body and rewrite the narrative of my past. But it hasn't been easy. There are nights when the mere act of stepping onto the stage feels like an act of defiance against the forces that sought to silence me. There are moments when the bright lights and pulsating music trigger memories that threaten to engulf me in a sea of fear and uncertainty.
Yet, in those moments of vulnerability, I find strength in the support of my fellow performers and the animated applause of my audience. Drag, with its message of empowerment and self-love, has become a safe haven where I can confront my demons head-on and emerge victorious, if only for a fleeting moment.
Through drag, I understand the power of performance and the art of transformation. Yet, beneath the layers of glitter and bravado, lies a vulnerability shared by many. Sexual violence knows no gender, no costume, and no stage. It transcends boundaries, leaving behind trauma that resonates deeply within survivors and their loved ones. It's a pervasive problem that demands our attention, not just in April, but every day of the year.
In the world of drag, where confidence is key and vulnerability is celebrated, confronting these feelings of inadequacy was both daunting and necessary. It forced me to confront the harsh truth that strength isn't always about physical prowess or stoic resilience – sometimes, it's about the courage to acknowledge our vulnerabilities and seek help when we need it most. As I stepped onto the stage as a drag king, I carried with me the weight of my past, the scars of trauma, and the lingering shadows of fear and doubt. But with each performance, I found myself reclaiming a piece of the strength that had been stolen from me – not through brute force or unwavering self-assurance, but through the sheer act of defiance against the forces that sought to diminish me.
Sexual assault is a dark specter that haunts our communities, preying on the marginalized and the misunderstood – self included. For too long, sexual violence has been shrouded in silence. In our queer community, we understand the power of love, the strength found in solidarity. We refuse to let the voices of survivors be drowned out by the cacophony of indifference. We refuse to accept a world where fear and shame silence the cries for justice. Yet, despite the support that I have and the progress I've made, there are still moments when the echoes of trauma reverberate through my being, casting doubt on my ability to trust others, to rely on myself, and to navigate the world with the same unwavering independence that once defined me. The walls I've built around my heart are tall and fortified, a fortress of self-protection that I cling to in moments of uncertainty and fear.
Learning to live with PTSD as a drag king is an ongoing journey, one filled with twists, turns, and unexpected challenges. It's about learning to set boundaries, prioritize self-care, and seek help when needed. It's about finding the courage to speak my truth, when the weight of silence threatens to suffocate me.
To my fellow survivors navigating the stage with sexual assault-related PTSD, I want you to know that you are not alone. Your voice matters, your story matters, and your strength is nothing short of extraordinary. Together, let us continue to shine brightly, defy expectations, and reclaim our power in a world that too often seeks to diminish us.
And to those who may not understand the struggles we face, I urge you to listen, to learn, and to offer your support in whatever way you can. Because in the end, it's not just about the performances we deliver or the costumes we wear – it's about the journey of healing, resilience, and triumph that we embark on every time we step into the spotlight as drag kings.
Acknowledging Sexual Assault Awareness Month as a drag king means standing in solidarity with survivors of all gender identities and sexual orientations. It means using my platform to amplify our voices, to break the silence that suffocates our stories. It means challenging the toxic masculinity that perpetuates rape culture and redefining what it means to be strong, to be masculine, to be human. It’s using our love as a beacon of hope, illuminating the path towards healing and empowerment, and reclaiming our spaces, our bodies, and our voices from the grip of violence and oppression. As I struggle to trust, I find solace in the unconditional support of my fellow performers and the encouraging cheers from the audience. In their eyes, I see reflections of the strength, resilience, and beauty that lies within me – a reminder that I am not defined by my past, nor confined by the limitations of trauma.
Education is our armor against ignorance, our weapon against injustice. By teaching consent, dismantling harmful stereotypes, and fostering empathy, we can create a world where sexual violence is not just condemned but prevented. As drag performers, we embody the power of transformation, the freedom to be whoever we choose. Let us use that power to spark conversations, to challenge norms, and to pave the way for a future free from fear. By challenging heteronormative narratives, dismantling harmful stereotypes, and promoting consent and respect in all relationships, we can create a safer world for everybody. By providing comprehensive sex education, teaching consent from a young age, and challenging harmful stereotypes and attitudes, we can create a culture that values respect and empathy. We must empower individuals to recognize and speak out against all forms of sexual violence.
Supporting survivors means more than just offering words of comfort; it means creating safe spaces where they can heal without judgment or shame. It means advocating for policies and services that prioritize their needs and rights. In our drag community, we understand the importance of community, of standing together in solidarity. Let us extend that sense of community to survivors, offering our unwavering support and love. Healing from trauma is a journey that requires compassion, patience, and access to resources. It's about creating safe spaces where survivors feel heard and believed, without fear of retaliation or victim blaming.
There’s a disturbing pattern that weaves its way into conversations surrounding sexual assault: victim blaming. It's a phenomenon that shifts the focus from perpetrators to survivors, entangling them in a web of shame and self-doubt. As we observe Sexual Assault Awareness Month, it's imperative to unravel these threads and confront victim blaming with compassion and accountability.
Victim blaming manifests in various forms, from scrutinizing survivors' behavior to questioning their credibility. Phrases like "What were you wearing?" or "Why didn't you fight back?" insidiously reinforce harmful stereotypes and excuses for perpetrators' actions. Such rhetoric not only perpetuates rape culture but also undermines survivors' experiences, compounding their trauma.
As a society, we must recognize that the responsibility for sexual assault lies solely with the perpetrators. No amount of alcohol, clothing choice, or previous relationship status justifies violating someone's autonomy and consent. Blaming survivors not only absolves perpetrators of accountability but also perpetuates a culture of silence and shame, discouraging survivors from seeking help and justice.
Acknowledging victim blaming requires introspection and empathy. It demands that we challenge our own biases and assumptions, and actively listen to survivors without judgment. Supporting survivors means rejecting victim blaming in all its forms. It means advocating for survivor-centered policies and services, and amplifying their voices in conversations about sexual violence.
We must put a stop to victim blaming and dissolve rape culture.
Rape culture—a term that encapsulates the normalization and trivialization of sexual violence—is a pervasive and insidious force that permeates every facet of our society. From casual jokes that trivialize consent to victim-blaming attitudes perpetuated by media and institutions, rape culture creates an environment where sexual violence thrives and survivors are silenced. It's imperative to recognize and dismantle the pillars of rape culture, paving the way for a safer and more equitable society.
At the heart of rape culture lies the normalization of objectification and dehumanization, particularly of marginalized communities. Women, LGBTQ+ individuals, people of color, and other marginalized groups disproportionately bear the brunt of sexual violence and discrimination. Through media portrayals that sexualize and stereotype, and through systems that perpetuate inequality and power imbalances, rape culture perpetuates harm and injustice.
Rape culture thrives on silence and complicity, but we have the power to challenge it through education, advocacy, and collective action. Comprehensive sex education that includes discussions on consent, healthy relationships, and bystander intervention is crucial in dismantling rape culture from its roots.
Media representation plays a significant role in shaping societal attitudes and beliefs. By advocating for diverse and nuanced portrayals of gender and sexuality, we can challenge harmful stereotypes and disrupt the narrative of entitlement and dominance that underpins rape culture. Similarly, advocating for policies and legal reforms that prioritize survivor-centered approaches and dismantle systemic barriers to justice is essential in creating a more equitable society, especially for those of us that are already marginalized in the LGBTQ+ community.
Sexual assault is a pervasive issue within the LGBTQ+ community, often compounded by intersecting forms of discrimination and marginalization. Here are some key aspects to consider:
Higher Risk Factors: LGBTQ+ individuals face higher rates of sexual assault. Factors such as societal stigma, discrimination, and rejection can contribute to increased vulnerability to sexual violence.
Hate-Motivated Violence: LGBTQ+ individuals, especially those who belong to multiple marginalized groups (such as LGBTQ+ people of color or transgender individuals), are at heightened risk of experiencing hate-motivated violence, including sexual assault. This violence is often fueled by homophobia, transphobia, and other forms of bigotry.
Barriers to Reporting: LGBTQ+ survivors of sexual assault may face additional barriers to reporting and seeking support. Fear of discrimination or mistreatment by law enforcement or service providers, concerns about outing oneself, and distrust of systems that have historically failed LGBTQ+ communities can deter survivors from seeking help.
Silencing and Invisibility: LGBTQ+ survivors may face unique challenges in accessing support and resources due to the silencing and invisibility of their experiences. Mainstream narratives and services often fail to address the specific needs of LGBTQ+ survivors, leading to a lack of culturally competent care.
Intersectionality: LGBTQ+ individuals experience sexual assault within the context of intersecting identities, such as race, ethnicity, disability, and socioeconomic status. These intersecting forms of oppression can exacerbate the risk of experiencing sexual violence and create additional barriers to accessing support and justice.
Community Support and Resilience: Despite these challenges, LGBTQ+ communities have a long history of resilience and solidarity. LGBTQ+ organizations and grassroots movements play a crucial role in providing support, advocacy, and resources for survivors of sexual assault within the community.
Addressing sexual assault within the LGBTQ+ community requires intersectional approaches that acknowledge and address the unique experiences and needs of LGBTQ+ survivors. This includes providing culturally competent services, challenging heteronormative and cisnormative attitudes, promoting consent education, and advocating for policies that protect the rights and safety of LGBTQ+ individuals.
So, as we don our wigs, bind our chests, and step into the spotlight this April, let us not forget the voices that linger in the shadows. Let us use our platform in drag to shine a light on sexual violence, to empower survivors, and to demand justice. Together, we can break the silence, reclaim our power, and create a world where every individual can live authentically, proudly, and without fear
